Auf Achse
by Got Scots
Summary: Bugsy Malone fic. Louella feels Dandy Dan is cheating on her and goes to all expenses to get rid of his lover.


Auf Achse

by Goin2Hollywood (and don't you forget it!)

_Notes: I don't own the play Bugsy Malone, but if I did, I'd be super rich. Also, in my school production on Bugsy, we were short on guys to play all the male parts so we change my character, Bronx Charlie, into Bronx Charlene. And thank goodness we did or this story would've never happened!_

Bronx wrapped her fingers around the railing of the bridge. She peered over the edge into the shimmering water and watched the reflections of the stars sway in harmony with the river. She smiled as she thought about how Dandy Dan had just told her about his secret invention--the Splurge Mark Two.

Suddenly, someone came up from behind her and tried to wrap his hand around her neck. She struggled for a breath as the stranger's grip grew tighter. Bronx quickly stepped on his toes with one foot and kicked him in the shin with the other. She whipped around, pounded her fist into his face and shoved him on the ground. She kneeled down and was about to punch him one last time when she heard, "Bronx!"

Her head whipped around followed by her tangly, thick brown hair. Dandy Dan was racing toward her with a panic-stricken look stretched across his face. Bronx took one last glance at the man she had beaten up. It was then that she realized he was Dan's butler! "Are you alright, Joe?" she asked. Her eyes widened when she realized the man was too flustered to speak.

By now, Dandy Dan had reached her. He asked between breaths, "What happened?" And then, "Joseph?"

"Why'd you send him here?" Bronx asked angrily.

"I-I didn't."

Bronx turned, bent down and gripped Joseph's collar with her sweaty hands. "Who sent you here?" she interrogated.

Joseph stuttered for a minute, "I was only following Miss Louella's orders..."

"Miss Louella ain't in charge--"

"Bronx!" Dan ordered. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the bit of blood dripping off his butler's chin. "What were Louella's orders?"

"Well, this may s-seem kind of strange... she ordered me to kidnap you before _he _got a chance to talk to you, Miss Charlene."

Charlene and Dandy shot each other confused glances. Why would Louella want to kidnap Bronx? And why didn't she want Dandy and Bronx talking?

"Let'm go, Bronx," Dan said gently.

Charlene hadn't noticed it, but she was still tightly clutching Joe's coat collar. Her face flushed with embarrassment as she let go. Joe stood up slowly and brushed off his pants. "I'm sorry, Miss Charlene," he said briefly.

Bronx smirked and let out a short laugh. "You weren't expecting to win, were you?"

"You can leave us, Joseph," Dandy tried to say politely.

Joseph did a small bow and began walking back the way he came. Dandy began walking with Bronx in the opposite direction. He said, "Louella saw you."

"Huh?" Bronx asked. Dandy shot her an evil look. "Oh," she said. "Yeah, she came and talked to me about--well, never mind."

"About what?" Dandy asked, a little confused.

"Well... she was talking about how--how you're... _upset_ every night. She says it's _my_ fault and she's gonna do what ever she can to get me to stop bothering you." After she watched Dan just stare blankly at the ground, she added, "Well, she didn't word it that way."

Dan looked innocently up at his friend. "I'm sorry, Bronx," he said, "I didn't know she'd came and talked to you."

Now, it was Charlene's turn to be confused. She asked, "I thought you just said Louella saw me. What was that supposed to mean?"

"Oh. Um..." Dandy began, "Eh... nothing."

"What'd she see me doing?" Bronx asked, a bit disgusted.

Dan shrugged. "Nothing. She-she made something up that would make me want to kick you out of the gang."

"Which _is_?" Bronx asked as she picked up her pace to match Dan's.

"She told me she saw you and Fat Sam planning an attack on our gang."

Bronx laughed loudly and uncomfortably. She swung her arm over Dandy's shoulder. "And you believed her?" she smirked.

Dan laughed too and looked into Charlene's sparkling, brown eyes. "Of course not," he smiled as he wrapped his arm over her shoulder. The two of them adjusted their strides to match perfectly and strode right into Pop Becker's bookstore. "Shall we?" Dan asked as he pulled his splurger out from behind his jacket. Bronx wondered if he had intended to splurge anyone in particular during his meeting with her. Bronx herself was _always _armed, seeing as she had no home to keep her splurger in. She yanked _her_ gun out, the two of them unlinked arms and stepped into the store.

* * *

Bronx and Dandy stumbled out of the speakeasy, doubled over with laughter and clinging onto each other's splurge-covered suits. "And I almost got him--right in the _face_!" Bronx laughed.

"Didya--didya see the way Sam looked at me when I yelled, 'Hands up!'?" Dan asked, wide-eyed with excitement and pride.

"And the way he ran straight for Tallulah? Sure did, Boss," Bronx smirked. She started to calm down a bit when she saw Dan straightening his steps.

He let go of her gently and yanked off his dandy, yellow hat. He wiped the splurge-covered brim off with his pinstripe suit. He said, "You're a good shot, ya know. _I_ saw you nail those three chorus girls right in the face."

The two of them quickly turned around to see Louella storming out of the speakeasy. Her glittery, golden dress was splurge-splattered. Her hair was stuck together by the creamy, pie filling. She wiped some cream off that was under her eye and screamed, "Dannn!" Bronx saw Dandy freeze up and swallow hard. Louella marched angrily towards Dandy Dan and slapped him in the face. Bronx tried not to laugh as Dan winced painfully in her direction.

"_Why_ are you with _her_?" Louella shrieked.

Dan silently hung his head.

"I thought you were going to kick her out!"

Dan paused for a moment and then looked innocently up at his wife. Bronx could see his sad, grey eyes sparkle from the moonlight. His lower lip trembled until he spoke. "Louella," he pleaded, "Bronx didn't--"

Once again, Dan felt Louella's cold hand slap his cheek. He sucked in oxygen through his teeth and looked back up at his wife, waiting for her to speak. He noticed a tear rolling down her cheek. Her eyes were watery too.

She sniffled discreetly and quickly wiped a tear away from her eye. Her angry blue eyes rattled their tails at Dandy Dan's innocence. She dug her heel as far as it would go in the cement and snapped, "I _saw_ her! She was planning an attack against your gang!"

Bronx strode in front of Dandy Dan. She swung her left foot into place and leaned on her right hip. "Louella," she smirked and laughed to herself, "Your theory doesn't work. _Why_ would I plan an attack on my own gang?"

"Because," Louella said, "Of the same thing I told Dan. You're only in it for the money. You're not _loyal_ to any gang. You didn't sign a contract."

"I'm loyal to Dandy Dan's gang!" Bronx argued.

"Prove it!" Louella huffed.

"Stop!" Dan hollered. He walked over and put his arm around Bronx. "Charlene doesn't have anything to prove." Louella watched Bronx's wild smirk brush across her face again. Her eyes lit up when she realized she'd won.

"Hang on, Dan," she said as she shook his arm off her shoulder. She began pacing around Louella. "Why were you in the speakeasy today?" she questioned Dan's wife. "There ain't no partying at the enemy's place, even if it _is _the most liveliest joint in town."

Louella stuttered for a minute and then looked at Dan questionably. Dan nodded and waited for Louella to answer. Louella said, "Spying. Dan sends me there to spy."

"What?" Bronx looked disgustedly over at her boss. "And why didn't you tell me this?" When Dan didn't answer, Bronx added, "If I'd seen her comin' out of there myself, I would of took 'er down the alley way and splurged her! _Why_ didn't you tell me?"

"You wouldn't've splurged her without asking me."

"Yeah huh, boss."

"Well, you wouldn't've splurged her without asking a few questions."

"Yeah, I would've, boss." She paused for a moment. "Why didn't you tell me about all this?"

"Well, because at the time, I didn't eh... trust you like I do now," Dan used as an almost true excuses. "I like ya, Bronx, but before it was just me and Louella."

Bronx sighed and crossed her arms. She looked hopefully up at the sky as if asking when Dandy Dan would quit giving her excuses.

Dandy Dan smiled weakly at her dramatic expression. He said, "Bronx? You care to join us for a late dinner?"

Bronx laughed. "You mean you guys haven't eaten dinner yet either? What a coincidence! Neither've I."

Dan smiled. Bronx rarely had enough money to afford a nice dinner. Her normal 6:30 meal consisted of penny candy and fires. He tried to watch Louella's annoyed expression as the three headed to the Dandy residence.

* * *

"Please pass the butter um... Charlene," Louella fluttered her eyelashes and shot Bronx a fake smile. Bronx shoved the butter dish angrily across the table. Louella had just finished telling Dandy Dan about how crime rate had risen in New York and how horrible that was. The butter slid across the table and flipped over the edge. It dodged Louella's grasping hands and splattered all over her lap. She squealed and Dan glared desperatelly at Bronx. His eyes pleaded for her and Louella to stop argueing, but his head knew they never would.

Bronx just sat in her chair trying to look concerned and sorry, but it just meshed into a wide, _I-got-you _smirk.

Dan looked hesitantly at his wife who was begging him for assistance. He awkwardly stepped away from the table and said, "I'll go get a towel."

Louella eyed him evilly and tried to pull the dish off of her gold dress. She squealed and jumped out of her seat when the butter just smashed against the floor. She snapped her finger viciously and hollered, "Jo-seph!"

Dan and Louella's butler rushed into the room with a towel draped over his arm. "I heard _someone _scream," he tried to make Louella laugh as he patted her dress with the towel. He looked uneasily up at Bronx, while remembering their little encounter from earlier. "Don't panic, Miss Louella," he comforted, turning back to Mr. Dandy's wife.

Bronx sighed, rolled her eyes dramatically and strolled back into the kitchen to help Dandy Dan. She swung the kitchen door open and saw Dan miserably resting his elbows on the counter, his face pressed into his cupped palms. When the door closed behind Bronx he turned around quickly and said, "Hey."

Charlene smiled adoringly at her friend. She said, "I'm sorry." Then she added with her trademark, cocky smirk, "It was too easy."

Dandy looked up from the floor and adjusted his suit. Bronx could tell he wanted to say something, but couldn't. "It's okay," he murmured. He couldn't help but smile at Charlene's ease during a time like this. "Uh... Bronx," he began as he feverishly fidgeted with his outfit and stared at the floor. "I can't... it's hard--"

Louella had obviously noticed she had left Charlene _alone_ with her husband for too long. She burst into the kitchen in tears crying, "Dannn!"

"Here, honey," Dan began running another towel under the sink.

Louella shrieked, "Dan! I cannot _stand_ another minute with _her _in this house!" She pointed angrily at Bronx Charlene.

Bronx hung her head and muttered, "Sorry boss. Never shoulda come." She began her lonely exit out the front door as she tried to tune out Louella and Dan's arguing behind her.

* * *

Charlene opened her eyes slowly. When she felt someone smoothing her ratty hair, she jumped. "It's just me, Charlene," Dan said quickly. Bronx tried to find Dandy's outline in the pitch black street. "Got kicked out of my own house," he added.

Bronx sat up and moved her overcoat so there was enough room on the bench for both her and Dandy Dan. "Do you wanna... talk about it?" Bronx said ineptly.

"No," Dan replied. "Just need a place to sleep." He yawned, stretched his arms across the back of the bench and stared up at the moon. "You don't mind if I sleep _here_, do you?"

"Uh-uh," Bronx nodded no. She tried to scoot closer to Dan without making it too obvious that she was cold.

"Are you cold?" Dan asked right away.

Bronx rolled her eyes and then answered, "Yes."

"Here," Dan smiled kindly as he wrapped his arm around Bronx's shoulder. Unwillingly, Bronx leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"So how did you get kicked out of your own house?" Bronx asked curious to see if there was anymore hilarious Louella-slapping-Dan action this time.

"Long story," Dan sighed. "Tell you all about it in the morning." He rested his head on top of Charlene's and was surprised to smell the scent of his own shampoo. He had forgotten that Bronx's last shower was probably when she came over yesterday morning to freshen up and wash her clothes. He gazed up at the moon and stars until they faded out of his sight like water dripping down a car windshield.

* * *

Bronx woke up with her cheek pressed against the metal railing of the bench. It took her a second to sit up and realize Dandy Dan's jacket draped over her back. She snuggled into the soft, velvet lining of the pin-striped, fashionable coat. Just as she did, she saw Dan speed-walking toward her with two brown paper bags. Bronx straightened up and watched Dan break into a run, holding onto his hate with one hand and the bags with another. As he quickly took a seat next to Bronx he set the bags between them. He said, "Breakfast?"

Bronx, delighted to have breakfast, yanked a box of scrambled eggs and bacon out of the bag. "Thanks," she said as she gobbled down the two greasy slices of bacon.

Dan picked at his food and played with it disgustedly. "Sorry about the taste," he apologized as he made a sickened face at the bacon. "I only had forty cents on me," he explained.

"It's great," Bronx marveled, not even bothering to look up at Dan.

"Okay, Bronx," Dan began, "I promise... I'll tell you everything about last night, but uh... you have to promise you'll help me confront Louella. I that alright?"

"Sure," Bronx said as she licked the side of the box and devoured the last two scraps of breakfast.

"But you can't mess thing up, ya hear?" Dan added, as he watched his friend's curious ways of eating _every single piece _of her meal.

"No, I won't mess things up, boss."

* * *

Bronx and Dandy stood in akward, anxious silence as they waited for Louella to open the door. "Well, what're ya gonna do if she doesn't answer? _Break in_?"

Dan pretended to laughed and pounded on the door again. This time, they heard Louella yell, "Who is it?" at the door.

Dandy took a deep breath and replied, "It's me, my rose."

Bronx stepped closer to Dan and looked nervously up at his hopefully expression. She didn't know why, but she actually felt scared for him. Never before had she felt worried for someone else. She watched Dan not move an inch as the door creaked open.

Louella fit her head through the crack in the door and stared maliciously at Bronx. "Not when _she's_ here."

Although she would've liked to, Bronx did not reply. Instead Dan said for her, "I _asked_ Bronx to come."

Louella sighed and opened the door fully. She ushered her husband inside and then left Bronx to close the door. "Dan, honey. I don't know what to say. I've been thinking about it and I don't know what to say."

Dan began fidgeting with something in his pocket again. "Well, I... I'm sorry, Louella, but if I were running an honest business her--"

"You're not."

"Well, if I _was_--"

"You're not, Dan."

Bronx was tired of listening to Dandy Dan argue about a problem that he couldn't solve. She said, "Hey. I know we're never gonna be great friends, Louella... but uh, whadya say we call it a truce?"

It was worth it. Dan's face brightened and he let his hands fall out of his pockets. He looked at Louella for a moment and then straight at Bronx. Bronx smirked and then all eyes were on Louella.

She was a bit shocked, but she answered, "Sure."

Dan nodded. "I'd say that's settled, then." He patted Bronx on the back and she looked up at him with a tilted, cocky grin spread across her face. Dan owed her big time. Maybe she'd be the first to try out the Splurge Mark Two...

_So I hope you liked it! Please tell me what you thought, good or bad. I just LOVE comments._


End file.
